How to Respond to Comments About Kids
People love to comment on family size. Learn how to respond to remarks.
“You have 5 girls! Wow! I am so sorry!” What a gut punch! I was so surprised to hear this unexpected comment from our home lender. My husband looked right at her and said, I’m not, I love my little girls.
My heart glowed when our real estate agent, backed us up, he said, ” I think they have a beautiful family!”
She retorted, “Well, I just know how are gender is.”
I’m so grateful Mike and our realtor, responded. If your family is like ours, you will have moments like this. This post has been created to help you respond to axioms.
Comments about your kids:
- Wow, you’ve got your hands full!
- Are these all yours?
- Were you trying for a boy?
- How do you do it?
- I could never do it!
- How many children are you going to have?
- Will you stop when you get a boy?
- You have a beautiful family.
- Do you know how that works?
- You need to get a tv.
- Are there any twins?
How to respond to comments about your kids: Why all the Attention?
Having five little girls so close in stature and in age is an unusual sight for most, and many people are shocked when they see our family. I’ve come to accept the comments, both rude and flattering, I try to love those who stare and gawk. Our family is accustomed to the constant axioms. Before we discuss this, further, i would like to lay out the most common axioms we hear, ranked from most to least common.
For the most, part, the comments are not savory, but show a fascinating, truth. Most people are genuinely curious and amazed at an all girl (5) family. This lovely family God has given to Mike and I is unique. Here are a few reasons, people might comment about a large family.
- People are Curious
- People are surprised
- There aren’t many children in their own lives
- People have chosen to limit their own families.
- Some people have believed the lie that the world is over populated. Jennifer Fulwiler once said, ” I can just see the people calculating the carbon foot print as we do our shopping at Trader Joe’s.”
- I’ve met some people who are overjoyed to see such a large families of little ladies. This brings me joy.
How to respond to comments about your kids:
I used to spout clever remarks but it always left me feeling yucky and un-charitable. Once a homeless, slash mentally handicapped lady asked me about all my girls. I replied, read Humane Vite. She replied aghast, Im homeless and I cant access a computer! I was so embarrassed (I didn’t know she was homeless), and I deeply embarrassed by husband. My attempt at wit made a fool out of me, her, and our family at that coffee shop.
From then on I decided that answering with love and charity would be my respond
- When someone says “Your hands are full!” or “Are all these yours? I usually respond “Yes they are! I try to say this with a laugh or a smile, then we are typically followed by a long stare as my family and I walk on.
- When someone says ” I could never do it!” or “How do you do it!” I say a few different things, I’ll bet you could my kids are awesome! This sends a clear smashes the lie that kids are a burden and that people are helpless. It also reassures our kids (who are constantly getting scrutinized) that their mom and dad think they they are wonderful!
- When someone asks about our family size in reference to a Boy I usually say, ” We are leaving the number of our children up to God”, or “Whatever God wills” and sometimes I say “God willing someday we will have a boy! We would love to have a boy!”
How to respond to comments about your kids: How to Cope with Axioms
The important thing to remember is that the impulse of a stranger or a friend, doesn’t necessary sum up their complete thoughts of your or your family, nor does it give you the right to be negatively effected by it. God calls us to love our neighbor, even when we are annoyed or hurt.
Its helpful to see strangers as children of God who don’t yet know his blessings. Depending on the individual I encounter, I feel a sense of pity for strangers who are so surprised. Perhaps they are missing the joy of children.
The Key is to stay positive. View every encounter as an opportunity to shift the culture. You will bring light into the world through your family!
If you act like you hate your life, people will pick up on that! Not every public moment will be smooth, but strive to act how your heart really feels. Let your love for your children show and float to passer bys.
